Filling the Void - Vanessa's Story

Filling the Void - Vanessa's Story

I was a 'closet Christian' for the 20 years of my marriage to a Hindu, following the Hindu traditions and rituals. I did this as I thought it best at the time and I did not want my children growing up without any belief system.

I always felt a void and I knew that there was something missing in my life. I attended Church on Christmas eve each year in the hopes of finding it.

In August 2015 I attended my first Alpha and Holy Spirit weekend and I was radically transformed.  I already knew that God loved me, because He lifted me from bottomless pits over and over again, but what I did not know was the enormity of His love.  

I laid all of me before Him.  I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour and he showed me healing and restoration that I never thought was possible. I cried uncontrollably, not knowing or understanding why - I was not beaten, I did not hurt myself, so why all the tears? At the time I didn't realise that He was wiping my slate clean. 

I was always afraid to pray out loud and now I have become more comfortable doing so. I find myself praying in the shower, sitting on the bench, while driving, it is crazy!

For the first time, I go to bed not feeling anxious about tomorrow. 

I still get goose-bumps when I revisit that moment.  I am happy, I feel lighter in my spirit and can worship and read my Bible without the fear of being condemned or feeling guilty or even of my Bible being hidden. I still face challenges on a daily basis, however I have the confident assurance that God is with me and He will bring me through, and even more so because I am part of a loving and warm spiritual family to whom I can turn to at all times in my time of need. I feel loved, supported and cherished by them. They pray for me and with me – a symbol of God’s amazing grace.

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